trapsing around the OC ghetto at 1 o'clock in the morning looking for an atm and a store (7-11) that sells wet cat food...otherwise a cat name Chicken could kill when you got home.





(Yes, I had food for her...just not wet food.)





(And, yes, I'm still in ad-mist of another self-deprecating manic hermitude. I just need to getting the freaking pics up so I can hide!)

I just wrote a long ass post only to delete it. The abbreviated version...

I've just been unbelievably hurt by someone I allowed closeness to me this year. Not only that but the direction of the intial (& ultimate) damage was towards a close mutual friend. At the point where I got defensive and tried to intercede on behalf of the friend, I ended up looking like a mean bitch while the other person ended up being forced (yes, forced) into a position that allowed him recover and manipulate the situation into looking like he only had good intentions to begin with. Which of course is complete fucking bullshit!  All the selfish intent he denies and all of the good that did come of it he takes full credit for like it was planned...


It makes me hurt. It makes me angry. It made me cry. I expect it will make me more closed off to any sort closeness than I already I am....maybe even a little more dysfunctional (if that's possible.) Oh well...


And you...you should be ashamed of yourself. This just makes you one step closer to the pathetic you already make yourself by half assing it through life on the coat tails  (& mercy) of others, and then so vehemently try to deny. At least I don't try to hide my faults in mass of lie after lie after lie. Sadly though you never fooled the people close to you...just the people around you who don't take the time to really look or even worse, who are too stupid to see it. Enjoy burning your bridges, try not burn the one your standing on...

Oh wow...I guess that didn't end up abbreviated now, did it?

my naturally bad self is staying in tonight.